A group of 60 year-old women who are members of a book club decide to ditch their novels for tap dancing lessons. Tonight is the year-end recital, open to the public.
Fuck! Agh! That felt like a maple wood baseball bat.
Jesus. Am I bleeding?
God damn. Hemroids. Screw it. I’m not sitting down again. I’ll wet myself before getting up. AGH!
Boy, if tonight isn’t the night of nights. This is the night my asshole and the Turtle Creek Tappers put me out of my misery. Which is worse? Physical agony is one thing. But the mental anguish of seeing her stuffed into a costume, parading around like Raquel Welch after being stung by a huge bumble bee? Damnit. Get me a gun. Someone in this auditorium from Hades has to be packing. Fucking air conditioning? What the hell! This is Dallas. If the negroes don’t kill you the heat will.
AGH!!!!
Seriously. Flowers? Ruby is such a snot. Flying down for this bullshit? I get the ticket she gets a daisy? The little hussy is going to hit us up for cash.
Mommy, Daddy, you know with the subprime housing market and all…
Shit. More like you know with the booze and Mandingos. God damn whore. She might be the dumbest girl in all of Texas. Learning disability my ass. It’s called functionally retarded.
AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh, this medication better kick in. It’s been, um, 20-25 minutes?
Usually about right.
Well, well, well. Look at this little sugar pie. Oh isn’t she just the Belle of the Ball. Blonde hair. Great boobs. Like down pillows. Wonder which beast up there is her mom. Oh and she has curves. Not like the little trollips running around here. Eat a sandwich. Have a beer. What is wrong with these girls looking like teenage boys? Get some meat on the bone.
Obama? Change? Jesus. That little fucker needs to take off that T-shirt, go pop that zit, wash his face and wake up to the fact that if a black man becomes president he’s only going to do to us what we did to them. It’s in the Bible. What is wrong with his parents? That kid needs to get a job. Pay taxes. Make me worry all day – AGH!!! Make me sit here and have to deal with Mr. Hussein as president. God damn pinko terrorist. Lee Harvey Oswald with a turban.
Agh.
Oh, that one wasn’t as bad. Meds must be kicking in. Hot damn.
Agh.
Here she comes … til death do us part. She looks like a platypus headed to prom.
Hi Honey! Love you so much! Beautiful! You’re beautiful!
Christ take me now.
